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[personal profile] madwanderer
Title: “What If?”
Author: DayDreamer64/ MadWanderer
Fandom: X/1999 & Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles
Characters/ Pairing(s): Seishirou, Subaru, Hokuto, Fuuma, Kamui, Setsuka SeixSub, FuumaxKamui in later chapters
Genre: Um... Weird?
Summary: What if there was a way you could go back and relive your entire life in a different place and time? There’d be a price.
Note: So I finally decided to type up this long chapter. I've crossposted it to other communities too. Yes it's is long, yes it's weird, yes, I'm crazy - oh and did I mention I have no idea where I'm going with this? :D However, that shouldn't stop you from reading ne?

Chapter One:

Sakura… Blood… a voice calling out to him….




“Subaruuuu! Kamui! Wake up you two! Time to feed!” Hokuto’s voice called out from behind the wooden door. “C’mon you two!”

Subaru made an abrupt movement at the sudden sound before wide emerald eyes fluttered open, staring out in confusion at his surrounding. He sat up, placing a pale hand on his raven head, and let out a sigh before closing his eyes once more, “Just another nightmare….”

“Nnuung…” came the tired mutter of the lump under the covers on the bed next to him.

He smiled sympathetically at his twin brother’s moan. “C’mon Kamui- you know how Hokuto-chan is. I’m sure she took some time in finishing E… We shouldn’t let it go to waste I guess…” He sighed looking up at the ceiling a little sadly as he murmured, “Though I’d gladly do without it…”

“’m coming…” Kamui yawned.

Subaru chuckled and proceeded to slip out of his nightgown and into his clothes, handpicked by his elder sister Hokuto. Today it consisted of loose dark pants, white fancy shirt with ruffles at the collar. Pulling on his black coat, he exchanged the black gloves he wore for new clean ones laid out beside his night side table. Stifling a yawn he stretched out of the bed, watching Kamui slowly making his way out of the cover.

Shaking his head Subaru opened the door by he large metal handle and descended the winding stairs, making his way past the small torch lit hall and into the dining room where Hokuto sat on one end of the small table clad in a long black dress, complete with red ruffles around the waist and a red band keeping her dark locks away form her face.

She looked up at him, a scowl clear in the depths of the green pools now on him.

“Where’s Kamui?” Hokuto demanded. “He better not have gone back to asleep again.”

“Don’t worry Hokuto-chan.” Subaru smiled as he sat on the other side of his sister. “When I came done, he was already changing.”

“Well he better hurry up.” Hokuto pouted. “All I was able to get was a rabbit for each of us- puny little things too, just look at them! They’re nearly dying!” she glared down at the animal on her plate. “We’ll have to go hunting again- for humans this time because I’m getting a sudden craving. Then again…” she thoughtfully tapped her chin. “We could always ask a favor from the Dimentional Witch.”

“Ahhh…” Subaru made a slight face, looking up from the poor animal on his plate. “Must we hunt tonight? I’m fine with rabbits to be quite honest… well… no actually but-”

“When will you get over your fetish of human blood?” Hokuto narrowed her eyes slightly. “My dear brother-mine we need it to survive!”

“Yes, I know nee-chan but… it feels wrong to take the lives of others…”

“Subaru you are acting like a child.” Kamui’s voice growled from behind him. “Those ‘lives’ you care so much about have shunned us from society- they don’t want us near them. But to be quite honest I don’t want to be around them much.”

Subaru turned to see his twin brother wearing tighter black pants a black shirt but no ruffles, and pulling off gloves as he walked. His sandy brown hair was still ruffled and tousled but he seemed to not care as he walked around the table to his seat. Once he sat opposite Subaru and violet eyes looked at the “food” on his plate he made a face.

Straining to keep his face carefully neutral, he turned to his sister, “Hokuto… please tell me that this isn’t all we’re having.”

“Unfortunately it is.” Hokuto nodded, poking the still breathing rabbit with one long nail. “Someone here…” she flickered her green eyes at her brother with slight anger but a smile played on her lips. “… went and took Subaru for a walk from what I’ve heard.”

Kamui shook his head, “Subaru wanted to see the village.”

“The village?” Hokuto snapped her attention to the other vampire twin, eyes questioning and severe. “Why go there Subaru?”

“There was a festival.” Subaru explained hurriedly grateful to look away from the longing eyes of the rabbit before him. “I’ve never been to one.”

“Oh fine.” Hokuto waved off the matter as she began leaned down into the rabbit, her long nail sliced the rabbit’s stomach, causing blood to spurt. “I hope you stayed away from the humans though ne?”

“Yes Hokuto-chan…” Subaru replied dully.

“Kamui.” Hokuto looked over at her other brother in mild disapproval at his fixed gaze upon Subaru’s “food.” “That’s Subaru’s so don’t you dare look at it.”

Kaumi who had already finished his meal, lips tainted slightly red with the remaining blood had turned to watch the rabbit hungrily on Subaru’s plate and Subaru who had been rather slyly been pushing the plate towards his brother, whilst talking to his sister but now at being found out, jumped and blushed in shame while Kamui pouted.

“Yes Hokuto-chan.” Subaru nodded with a long sigh, pulling the plate back to him. He raised the rabbit to his lips but not without whispering, “Sorry…”

“Subaruuu! C’mon, I want to visit Yuko-san!” Hokuto whined as she pulled her younger brother along.

“I’d like to visit her too” Kamui nodded as they walked about the path in the forest. “Maybe we can ask her about the nightmare you had last night.”

“What’s this?” Hokuto suddenly stopped them, turning to stare at her brother. “You’re still having nightmares?”

“It was nothing!” Subaru replied, holding up his hands defensively at his sibling’s sudden glare. “Just you know, the usual nightmares- burning buildings, doves dying, breaking bridge- really boring stuff.”

“The breaking of a bridge is boring?” Kamui shook his head. “Subaru, you definitely need to go see Yuko-san.”

“This is absurd! Whoever heard of a vampire having nightmares?” Hokuto continued, rolling her eyes as she resumed their walking.

“I don’t know Hokuto.” Kamui frowned slightly. “I’ve had nightmares.”

“Oh yeah? About what?”

“Well about lot’s of things.”



“See! See!”


Subaru nodded dumbly, his brother and sister continued on in their rant about dreams and vampires as he drifted on his thoughts of the nightmare. It had been so… clear and yet so foggy- a memory of some sort? He remembered staring up into the sky- tree branches obscuring his vision and…

Rain…? But rain isn’t red… This was… blood?

He looked up, past falling pink petals of sakura and into the long branches where a shadow sat upon a branch.

Who was that? Who…? Who was that young man that he seemed to know yet seemed not to remember? The familiarity of the teen intrigued him yet caused an inexplicable fear and warmth to bubble within him.

Who was that?

“SUBARU!” Hokuto’s voice exclaimed, interrupting his thoughts. “Who’s right? Me or Kamui?”

“Err…” Subaru blinked in confusion, alarms going off in his head as both siblings turned to him, glaring. “Um… weren’t we going to visit Yuko-san?”

“That’s right!” Hokuto nodded, snapping her fingers, quickly forgetting all about the argument. “Let’s go then!”

“Maybe she’ll have a gift for us?” Kamui added hopefully. “Remember how she gave us that nice animal?”

“If she does… there’ll be a price for it.” Subaru smiled, shaking his head at his brother ‘s and sister’s enthusiasm. “There always is.”


“Oh Hokuto-chan!” Yuko clapped her hands together happily. “It’s such a pleasure to see you again!”

“Such a pleasure to see you too Yuko-san!” Hokuto exclaimed.

“When shall you marry off your brothers? They are perfect brides already!”

“Ohohohohoho! All in good time Yuko-san! We have to wait until their knights in shining armor appear to sweep them off their feet!” she giggled. “Then I shall approve of them!”

“Hokuto-chaaaan!” Subaru and Kamui pouted.

“Why do we have to the girls?” Kamui pouted.

“We’re not supposed to be!” Subaru groaned.

“But you guys are the pretty ones! You’re supposed to be the brides!” Hokuto replied matter-of factly.

Subaru shook his head wearily as they sat in the Dimentional Witch’s garden, drinking sake- well Yuko was at least, the vampires were merely sitting on the blanket near her. The two soulless girls hopped about, picking flowers here and there.

“Subaru has been having nightmares.” Hokuto declared worriedly as soon as they had all settled down. “We were wondering if you could do something about it.”

Yuko’s red eyes flickered to Hokuto’s green ones before turning to Subaru and shaking her head replied, “I cannot stop dreams. They are there- for better or for worse… Nothing I give you will help.”

“Are you sure?” Hokuto asked curiously. “Nothing at all?”

“No…” Yuko looked over at the vampire with a calm gaze. “Nothing can be done…”

Chasing… chasing after something, then a sudden fall to the ground. A hand reaches out to help and suddenly emerald eyes are staring up to a shadow…

I know you… But from where…?


Subaru-kun… I’ve found you….

Subaru jerked awake, blinking in confusion at the light shining through his window. With a jolt he realized he was sweating and trembling. Holding himself tight he forced himself to take deep steadying breaths. The dizziness was soon gone and his eyes had adjusted to the dark- not that they needed to much, his vampire senses were keen no matter what environment they were in.

“It was just a nightmare…” Subaru whispered closing his eyes. “Just… a silly nightmare.”

But if it was just a nightmare, why has it shaken you so much? A tiny voice asked sweetly.

Subaru ignored it and getting up from his bed he walked over to the window on the other side of the room. Looking outside the window he watched as sakura petals fluttered in the wind, basking in the paleness of the moon, reflecting it eerily. The sakura was never in bloom at this time- but Subaru had come to notice one tree in particular that was always in full bloom.

His eyes searched, seeking the landscape around his home until finally-


A huge mansion sat a little below the hill on which his house was, surrounded by a vast garden- camellia, sakura, nadeshiko- all sorts of flowers- all in bloom. As his eyes roamed over the beautiful scenery he was startled to see three figures walking about the garden, talking in low voices.

In the middle of the three was a young woman with a very white face, full red lips and long black hair. She wore a long white kimono with elegant flower designs, holding a camellia to her lips. She was Setsuka Sakurazuka- the name came to him immediately. Next to her on her left was a tall young man with dark spiky hair, amber eyes, tan skin. He wore all white except for his black shirt underneath a white cloak and his boots were black but covered by his long pants. Who was he though…? Subaru tried to concentrate on the name but he couldn’t- this human… his identity…? What was it? The other man next to the woman had black locks much tamer than the other young man, he had honey-gold eyes that lit with amusement as he stared at the woman. His name…-why didn’t it come to him either?

Shrugging he looked away and up at the starry sky- there was a full moon out and he was feeling hungry. But there was nothing to feed on- Hokuto was to go hunting tomorrow for his birthday. He wasn’t exactly thrilled by the surprise but it was the thought that counted.

Shaking his head he looked over at the calendar given to them by the dimentional witch and could make out clearly his sister’s handwriting- a small note of who’s birthday it was- his and Kamui’s along with a small picture of a cake. He smiled as he watched his twin brother’s form rise up with each inhale of breath in his peaceful slumber

‘At least Kamui isn’t haunted by nightmares…’

: So there it is. I’ll have the next chapter up as soon as possible- well no not really, probably won’t happen. XD I’m too lazy

Also, the song “What If” by Kate Winslet (lyrics) inspired the fic.

 (Prologue)   |   (Chapter Two)

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February 2011

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