madwanderer: (Hunters)
[personal profile] madwanderer

Title: “What If?”
Author: DayDreamer64/ MadWanderer
Fandom: X/1999 & Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles
Characters/ Pairing(s): Seishirou, Subaru, Hokuto, Fuuma, Kamui, Setsuka, Kotori / SeixSub & FuumaxKamui in later chapters.
Genre: Um... Weird?
Summary: What if there was a way you could go back and relive your entire life in a different place and time? There’d be a price.
Note: And, this is going in a completely different direction from the last chapter. :D But don’t worry, we’ll get back to SeixSub in a while, Fuuma and Kamui need some attention now! ^-^ And also, sorry in advanced! :\ You'll see as you read.

Chapter Four:

“I’m going to visit Kotori.” Fuuma announced, opening his eyes, standing up from the armchair. “I haven’t seen her for a long time.”

“Have a nice visit.” Setsuka murmured looking down at the camellia in her hand. “I’ll miss you Fuuma-kun…”

Fuum stopped, hand poised in midair, reaching for his coat. She never called him ‘Fuuma-kun’ unless… He looked back at her, her eyes were clouded with… sadness? Since when did the she feel sadness? No, there was no mistake about it- he stood there for a while, waiting.

“I think I’ll go and take your brother out for a while.” Setsuka attempted a sweet smile. “I hope he’ll accompany me.”

“He is tired okaa-sama.” Fuuma nodded, neutrally. “Good luck with nii-san I suppose.”

“Yes… Fuuma…-kun…”

He turned around to face her, and in two quick steps knelt by her. She stared at her lap, eyes closed. He grasped her hand in his, tightly, forcing her to look at him- he wasn’t going to be ignored this time.

“Okaa-sama, is something wrong?” He asked carefully watching her face for any signs of an answer. “You seem… troubled.”

“I’m fine.” She replied curtly. “Go on… Fuuma-kun.”

Fuuma didn’t have to see her eyes to know she was lying. Her very posture seemed to give it off. She was still sitting straight up in her chair, hands gripping the leather tightly. She kept her eyes carefully closed- she would never do that when looking at him, she’d always face him with contempt, jealousy or the occasional fondness- she’d never close him out.

“Okaa-sama. Do you wish for me to stay?” he asked. “It seems to me as if you’d rather not be alone.”

“No.” she shook her head firmly, keeping her eyes closed against the steady amber gaze upon her. “You may go.”

He watched carefully as she opened her eyes- he saw nothing… but was that determination? She smiled, a true smile… from his mother… He never received those- only nii-san… She lifted a hand and he flinched slightly as he raised it to his cheek, almost lovingly- but no, she could never love him. She would always love Seishirou more.

“You’ve been a good boy Fuuma-kun… I won’t be here when you get back… I’ll miss you.” She closed her eyes once more- he couldn’t see her emotions now- she was blocking him. “Now leave.”


Fuuma made his way out of the mansion, feeling vaguely troubled with the disturbing conversation he had had with his mother. What had she meant by saying she wouldn’t be there when she got back? And his mother, miss him? She hardly missed him when he disappeared on them at the age of seven. He shook his head mentally, pushing away such thoughts- it was past.

She said she wouldn’t be there when he got back- was she going away somewhere? No… as far as he knew she had no jobs to take care of any time soon. So why had she looked… sad?  What was her wish this time…?

Fuuma could sense wishes and had been able to for some time now. It was what had caused him to run away all those years ago- he had sensed his mother’s displeasure and her wish for him to leave. Only because he had sensed his brother’s wish of his return was why he had come back otherwise he would have stayed away. But when he had been kneeling right before her just a few moments ago, he hadn’t sensed any wish except for him to leave. It was so… frustrating.

He sighed heavily. Things weren’t exactly looking too well were they? He stiffened slightly. Why did he suddenly feel…? He turned to look up at the hill and violet eyes found his. He smiled in surprise well this was… pleasant. He was being watched by one of the vampires- the cute one too. He barely ever saw the vampires out of the house and when he did, he often liked looking at him. He had eyes that made anyone’s heart break- Fuuma however, just wanted those eyes solely for him.

He lifted a hand in greeting and he watched, amazed as those wide amethyst eyes widen even more, a blush rose to stain those fair cheeks and then suddenly everything changed- the flush grew angry and daggers were glared in his direction. Fuuma couldn’t help it- he laughed, amused by the vampire’s reaction before continuing on his way into town. He didn’t have time to waste- his sister wanted him home for a visit.

The dark path stretched out before him as he walked past houses and cabins of the small village finally making his way towards a small house, still lit with a lantern. He smiled when he noticed his sister writing something at the desk by the window. He walked up the cobble stone path and knocked once, using the large metal handle. He heard his sister’s shriek of glee as she peered through the curtains before rushing to open the door.

“Onii-chan!” she exclaimed in delight as she rushed to hug him tightly. “It’s been so long!” She began to look him over. “I hope Setsuka-chan is giving you good food. Has she been rough on you? How’s training? Is Seishirou-san doing well? Oh it’s so good to see you!”

Fuuma laughed, “It’s good to see you to Kotori. I’m here just like you wanted.”

“Onii-chan always knows what I want.” Kotori smiled. “It’s his gift isn’t it?”

“Yes…” Fuuma nodded.

“Does onii-chan know that I want him to stay here for tonight?” Kotori clapped her hands together.

“Of course.” He bowed.

“Onni-chan is the best!”


When the two Monou siblings had been younger, they would sleep in the same bed, curled up against each other for warmth and comfort. However they always felt something was missing- some unknown being between them that brought them closer and brought them apart. 

Sometimes they’d lay awake just talking to one another, wondering what this sensation was until Kotori would eventually fall asleep listening to her older brother’s calming voice and when she’d wake- it’d be to hear his cheerful voice greeting her in the early morning. However that night was not the case and the morning was no exception.

Fuuma hadn’t spent enough time with his sister, these past few weeks due to training and only then as they laid in a bed, holding hands did he realize how much he missed her. So it was no great surprise to have him listen to her during the night talking of things and at the same time talking of nothing at all. However it was a surprise for him to fall asleep to her voice.

When he awoke it was only to find his sister already gone from the bed. Closing his eyes to block out the light streaming through the window he looked around for a sign of her but found none.

“Kotori?” he called out.

He was met with silence- that didn’t ease the sudden worry that settled in him at that point. He sat up on the bed and called out again- no answer. Extremely worried at this point he strained his ears for any type of movement in the house that might indicate her presence, maybe she was hiding like they used to when they were younger He smiled at the memory but soon his smile faded as he heard the answer he was waiting for. It was faint, barely audible above a whisper but it was enough, enough to have him jump up to his feet and stride out of the bedroom, heart racing.


He walked past the hallways and was about to head into the living room when he paused, something in the kitchen catching his eyes. He cringed, at the tinge of red out of the corner of his eye- was that…? He turned around, closing his eyes, before he opened them- this… what was this…?


The sight that met his eyes sent the blood running through his veins rush up to his head. He felt dizzy, he felt numb, he felt… lost. Lying on the wooden floor was his sister, wrists sliced, blood staining the floor, golden curls in disarray as her golden eyes stared unblinkingly at her brother, breath ragged, knife in one hand and a blood covered letter in the other.


“Kotori!” Fuuma ran forward dropping down beside her, cradling her in his arms- just like when she was younger, she had fallen down and scraped her knee and had carried her all the way home in his arms. “What- how- why?!”

“O…nii…chan…” she murmured breathlessly. “L…sten… find…find… Ka…-chan… Find… him…please…”

She lifted the hand with the letter trying to give it to him. He grabbed it but merely moved it out of the way- he had to save her but how-? Fuuma had no time to react when in one quick movement she raised the knife once more and plunged it into her chest, coughing out blood.

“Kotori!” Fuuma yelled. “No!”

“Find… Ka…-chan…” her words remained unheard as her last breath flew from her body, leaving her cold and still.

“Ko… to…ri…” Fuuma stared down at her tears filling up his eyes as he wiped the blood away from her face, pushing the gold locks away. “Why…?”

Note: Well… This certainly got depressing in such a few short span of chapters. XD Comments are love though! And HELL YES, THE PRELUDE WILL START TO MAKE SENSE SOON.

Also, the song “What If” by Kate Winslet (lyrics) inspired the fic.

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February 2011

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