madwanderer: (Twins)
[personal profile] madwanderer
Series Name: Parallelism
Part title: Closer
Author: [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com]/ [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com]
Fandom(s): X/ Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Pairing(s): KamuixKamui, SubaruxKamui, KamuixKotori, hints of SubaruxSubaru, SeixSub and FuumaxKamui.
Part: 1/2
Genre: Lime, Angst
Word Count: 3,192
Rating: Overall R.
Summary: Even though their lives are different, their souls are the same.
Note: This is what happens when you're both depressed and feeling oddly productive- anyways FINALLY the first part of Yatsu’s ([livejournal.com profile] rusalkai) birthday fic is edited (I've got the companion piece to edit and two other small ficlets I've in mind to do to as well). Thus, this is all her fault (love you anyway ♥). She at first wanted a PWP where Kamui finally tops but somewhere along the way Subaru came in and complicated things a bit, and well Kotori just had to be make some sort of appearance so this turned out to be longer than I expected. Oh and credit to this part's title is to the song "Closer" By Nine Inch Nails. I listened to it A LOT while I was writing this plus it's very sexy...in a creepily disturbing way. :D Enjoy!




Pale skin in the moonlight, sandy brown hair and small lips forming a silent “o” as their eyes met for the first time. He never expected to find someone like him- or rather, himself- in another world. The dimensional witch had mentioned meeting people that he would have met before but would be different from them. Still nothing she had said could have prepared him for this. It wasn’t that he was surprised by it; in fact the young human boy intrigued him. The boy that was a mirror of his own body and soul… but he was human. He could tell easily from the way he held himself.

“You…” he was attempting to speak- such a soft lost voice; nothing like his own demanding and secure. “…Who…? What…- I don’t…”

He raised a brow at the incoherency he released from his small mouth- he was never like that, how could this boy be him? No his eyes narrowed he’s not like me… He could feel Subaru pacing in the park where he had left him- as long as he was safe they’d be able to leave soon. All they needed was blood and they could leave. But obviously it couldn’t be from him.

The only thing that was stopping him from walking away was the boy. He was on his knees in a small alley, after having been ambushed by him and staring at him with wide disbelieving eyes. He couldn’t just leave him here after having seen him. But then what could he do?

He turned back to him looking over him critically- this human’s thoughts were even more of a mess than he thought. He couldn’t even make out what was the beginning or what was the end of each muse- there were vague references to Tokyo, insanity, 1999, swords and destiny. He shifted through the thoughts searching for an answer and found it. The end of the world…? Before he could continue his investigation he began to speak again:

“Are you real?”

He looked at him for a moment- yes that seemed like the most logical question to ask first. He stepped forward and tapped his cheek lightly- the skin was soft.

“Does that answer your question?”

“You…” he was struggling with his words again. “It can’t be…”

The vampire didn’t say anything, he merely reached out and as gently as possible, he yanked the young boy to his feet pushing him up against the wall. The streets were deserted- obviously this city wasn’t very different from the Tokyo he had once been in. The same Tokyo he had lost Subaru in…- he vaguely wondered if this world’s Subaru was in any way connected with this Kamui.

From the way the boy was looking at him he seemed to have gone into some sort of shock but that didn’t matter it just made things easier- no struggle. Though he had to admit it did disconcert him a great deal. He was weak- how could they share the same soul? If he killed him it would be killing himself so…-

“Let him go.”

The voice came from behind him startling him out of his thoughts. It wasn’t the shock of having someone sneak up on him but the presence of that person. He let go of the boy and glanced behind him at-

“Kamui-san,” Subaru nodded. “Yuuko-san warned me of your arrival.”

He said nothing as he watched him store away a black card inside his black trench coat. This…. Subaru was different. His eyes weren’t green they were-

“Kamui?”

The shy voice came from behind his other self, green eyes peering worriedly over his shoulder. That was his Subaru.

“Subaru what are you-?”

“I found him in Ueno Park,” the other Subaru cut in. “That’s a very dangerous place at night. I suggest you stay away from there.”

Kamui’s eyes narrowed slightly- there was something off about this Subaru. His aura was different and there a familiar scent on his clothing that he knew his Subaru couldn’t tolerate. It was-

“Su… baru?” His other self was struggling to get up. “You’re alive! How are you-”

“I’ll be brief,” Subaru held up a hand silencing Kamui. “Yuuko-san told me specifically to take in my other self for a few days and for his twin to stay with you. I’m sorry Kamui-san.”

“What?!” The vampire stepped forward, his previous thoughts leaving him quickly. “Never! Subaru stays with me!”

His eyes flashed to a dangerous gold as his nails extended and he turned to face him fully. This was Subaru- they shared the same soul so would killing him feel like killing his brother? But what did it matter? He had suffered his twin’s absence once and that was long enough before he’d voluntarily give him up again- even to himself.

But just as he was about to make a move something strange began to happen. He could sense the strands of magic picking up all around him. Subaru was disappearing into a gust of-

“Sakura…” Kamui whispered opening his hand to catch one. “So he’s…”

He stopped there and looked down at the floor sadly. The vampire was stunned in his place. What could he do? He wasn’t of magic- he was a vampire who made a deal with someone with magic in order to run away. What could he do with this?

The vampire turned around and slammed the boy back against the wall hissing furiously, “Where did he take Subaru?”

Kamui choked at the collision, eyes hazy from the sudden pain, “I-I don’t know!”

He looked at him for a moment, eyes narrowing in disgust before letting him go. He was telling him the truth. Sighing he crossed his arms leaning against the wall across him watching himself wearily get up.

“I guess you could come stay with me then… until Subaru-” the human bit his lip heaving a sigh of his own.

Kamui stared at him from the corner of his eye. He half turned from him and looked down the alley, thoughts wondering. He hadn’t been apart from Subaru since they’d been in the other Tokyo- he’d made sure they’d stayed together throughout their traveling. But now in this Tokyo they were once again separated and this time he couldn’t feel his presence, he couldn’t watch over him. He’d be completely alone…

“Subaru won’t do anything to him,” his voice whispered softly. “He’s not-”

“You’re human.” Kamui snapped. “I’m not so I could smell the blood on his hands.”

“B-blood?” Violet eyes widened in disbelief. “No, that can’t be-”

“Think what you like,” the vampire shrugged. “I know what I’m talking about.”

Kamui was silent for a moment then he murmured, “It’s all his fault.”

He looked back at him hiding his surprise. He wasn’t talking about…-?

He was.

“I need a place to stay.” Kamui stated bluntly. “I don’t want to be seen by others so…?”

***


“I’m sorry it’s so small-”

“It’s fine.”

“But you’ll have to sleep on the couch.”

“I’ve had worse.”

Silence as the vampire moved towards the window staring out over a large campus. This place held magic- or at least it once did. But there was also something else about this place that made him feel-

“This place is safe.” Kamui moved to stand next him. “No one will bother you as long as you stay inside.”

“For now,” he replied coolly. “But there’s a small detail you should know about.”

“You mean the whole… nail thing?”

“I’m a vampire.”

“Oh… does that mean-?”

“Sunlight doesn’t kill me, the sight of a cross does nothing, and I can’t be killed by a stake to the heart. However…” he turned to look at him catching the wary looking and ignoring it. “I do need blood.”

“But that would mean-” Something changed in his eyes and Kamui caught it with interest. “No, I won’t let you.”

“Then what’s your suggestion?”

***


Kamui licked the blood slowly off the pale neck feeling the wound heal beneath his tongue. Two nights had passed and still no sign of his twin and his other self. He was beginning to get impatient. Staying here was dangerous especially after meeting that other hunter in the last Tokyo they’d been in. Besides sitting in this room day after day, watching this world’s Kamui head off to his school, having him live his life among other humans was disturbing.

He sighed and shook his head. He needed Subaru. They weren’t supposed to be apart. Subaru was the only one he could talk to freely and be at ease. He’d do anything for him just as long as he-

“What’s your Fuuma like?”

The question came as a surprise to the vampire. But Kamui either didn’t notice or didn’t care. He was staring out the window holding his hands together, rubbing over his palm absently. Kamui had noticed the scar but he hadn’t found out anything about it yet.

“He’s not ‘mine.’ ” Kamui muttered. “He’s nothing but a stupid hunter.”

“Is he hunting after you and your brother then?”

“No.”

“Oh…”

More silence but Kamui could tell from the way he hesitated that he was debating to ask something else. (He had long since decided not to intrude on his thoughts- things were a mess in there.) He waited and sure enough-

“Did you ever meet someone named Kotori…?” He asked softly.

Kamui was silent for a moment-

    “ ‘Kamui-chan’… I used to call him that. Is it all right if I call you that too?”

    “D-do what you like.”

    “I bet you’re hungry. If you want you can take my blood.”

    “No, I couldn’t.”

    “I want you to. Please, Kamui-chan?”


Kamui said nothing. The silence continued all around them. He turned around and stood before him, sadness evident in his amethyst eyes.

“What happened to her?”

“She died. Yours?”

“She died too. How?”

“A bullet.”

“A sword.”

“Humans die. She was human and she was getting old so… she wasn’t fast enough to-”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault… It’s mine.”

“What’s the difference?”

***


Kamui wasn’t sure how it happened. One of them always slept on the couch while the other slept in the bedroom. From one night to the next they’d taken to sleeping together. They didn’t know who came to the other first. Maybe it was Kamui. Maybe it was the other Kamui. Maybe they had both come to each other. It didn’t matter anymore- they just continued with it night after night.

Kamui could feel he was going over the edge soon. His breath was ragged as he continued thrusting half listening the moans of his other self.

You.

Me.

One.


The hand sliding around him was too much. Kamui couldn’t breathe; he kept taking breaths of air frantically, each one proving to be insufficient, so he took another one.

Faster.

Rougher.

Until-

They cried out together, releasing themselves into each other. No, into himself. One hand reached out and held the other. This is what they wanted wasn’t it?

***


“What happened to your Subaru?” Kamui asked, a week after having arrived here. “Although he’s just like my Subaru… he’s different.”

He was never mine to begin with, Kamui should have answered but he didn’t instead he said:

“Someone hurt him.” They were both sitting back to back so Kamui leaned his head back touching the head that was so alike to his own but so very different as well. “Someone he loved.”

“Was it someone named ‘Seishirou’ ?”

“Yes.”

Kamui’s eyes narrowed angrily, “what did he do to him?”

He didn’t answer. The boy sighed and reached out to pull his clothes on slowly, choosing his next words carefully as he got up to leave. The sun was beginning to rise and he had to go to school.

“Not everyone can be happy.”

***


Kamui would lay on his back sometimes staring vacantly up at the ceiling lost in his own thoughts. The vampire would sit by the window staring down at the humans rushing to and fro. These people were so carefree about their lives, worrying about school and friends. So innocent and yet so ignorant of the world around them, lost to their own mind’s worries.

His other self had once mentioned they didn’t deserve to die although he didn’t know why. It was during his regular musings during which they sat in silence like this that he had spoken out of the blue like that. He hadn’t bothered to ask and he hadn’t bothered to explain.

They talked a lot sometimes just listening to their voices reverberate around the walls, bouncing back to their ears with something akin to perverse pleasure. Someone like him was listening to him. Kamui would often feel a chill sometimes and he wouldn’t know why, he’d just lean over and tug himself closer and his other self would often do the same, burying his face in his shoulder. It was different from Subaru’s embrace and affection but he didn’t care. This boy was himself and he had seen too much. He didn’t know how he knew that, but he did and he wished nothing more than to protect him somehow.

But he knew that protection wouldn’t last. The illusion of such a lie would hurt him more once he left. That’s why they spoke seldom of their lives- they couldn’t offer each other help or advice. If no one else could help them why should they even try?

***


Kamui was sitting on the couch when he looked up to see a bird sitting on the window ledge. It was in the shape of a hawk with a pair of mismatched eyes of amber and green. He closed his eyes and gave a brief nod. With a sharp cry the bird spread its wings and lifted itself off the ledge and into the night.

He stood and walked over to the bedroom not bothering to knock. He slipped inside and found him sitting on the edge of the bed staring blankly out into the night. He stood there in the doorway for a moment, waiting.

“You know I used to think the most important people in my life was Kotori and Fuuma. I thought they were important and because of that I should protect them so we could all be happy in a world where they all existed. But I couldn’t… Kotorid died… Fuuma changed. Then Fuuma killed Saiki… Subaru left… Right now Keiichi is suffering and Yuzuriha is missing… Everything’s falling apart. And I can’t do anything.” Tears were welling up in those eyes but they didn’t fall. “I want to think that… maybe you can be happy with whoever it is you want to be with.”

Kamui looked at him for a long moment before shaking his head, “not everyone can be happy.”

“No,” he looked over at him (the saddest eyes he had ever seen), “they can’t.”

***


Kamui bit into his skin enticing a small gasp and a shudder from him. He didn’t bother to lap at the blood with his tongue or try to soothe the bite mark. He reached over on his other shoulder and scraped his teeth along the skin. The nails on the hands holding his hips dug deeper pulling him forward and upwards, their movements blending into each other.

Kamui had never done this before. He had never thought of doing something like this. It didn’t make any sense that he was doing this with him. He felt those limbs wrap around his hips and he shivered at the close intimacy before reaching between them to offer him his pleasure.

They were the same person with different lives. They were the same soul in different bodies. They were each other. It was the least amount of pleasure they could offer one another. The only thing that was real… while it lasted.

***


They were lying next to each other staring up at the ceiling, hands gripping tightly. Then Kamui spoke:

“We ran away from our world once he hurt Subaru for the first time. I thought my brother would die. He didn’t. He just changed. I loved him and I didn’t want the last thing I had left to be taken from me. After traveling through different worlds Subaru fell into a deep sleep for three years. I met Kotori and Fuuma there. Kotori was sweet and from the Diet building which opposed my clan of the ones living in the Tokyo Tower. Fuuma led them and from the moment I saw him, I knew I couldn’t like him- his eyes looked like everyone else’s eyes, but there was something different about them. Like as if he knew me and why I was there in the first place. We fought each other whenever we met and mostly it was… pointless, but it gave us something to do. One day while fighting his gun went off and she got in the way.” He looked over to his side, eyes drifting to the window. “I swore I wouldn’t let myself care again for someone other than Subaru.”

“But Subaru…?”

“Yes.”

“So tomorrow you’ll both leave?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll take you to Ueno Park then. That’s probably where you’ll both meet up again.”

“All right.”

***


“Yuuko-san contacted me yesterday to inform me that you can now safely return to your travels,” Subaru explained without any emotion as he watched the other Subaru rush forward to hug his twin. “She will contact you both in the next world to explain.”

The vampire said nothing as he nodded briefly and lightly embraced his brother. He felt Subaru stiffen and it was then that he closed his eyes, swallowing a sigh- he knew. He let go of him and turned to Kamui and reached out to shake his hand.

“Thank you for your hospitality.”

His eyes widened in surprise. He hadn’t even been expecting a goodbye from him, much less a thank you. He gripped the hand and nodded, “you’re welcome.”

He stood back, near Subaru but not quite touching, directly facing the other two who still had to go on with their lives- no matter how short it would be.

The boy smiled at Subaru, “I wish you a safe trip.”

“Thank you,” he replied nodding distractedly.

Kamui watched as the sky dropped down and picked them up, swirl of lights coming to greet them. Both vampires were close to each other but their eyes determinedly stayed away. Subaru was looking at the Sakurazukamori and he watched him open his mouth to say something but then bite his lip. Subaru merely inclined his head in farewell and watched blankly as his other self tried to unsuccessfully smile at him.

Something must have happened between them as well…

Kamui caught his eye and he offered a small smile- one he was sure not many had seen. And just before the magic disappeared along with them he could have sworn he saw one in return.
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madwanderer

February 2011

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